Relationship Blog

Secret to Romance in Marriage Will Surprise You

By Jamie C. Williamson, PhD The secret to long-lasting romance in marriage is surprisingly simple, inexpensive, and fool proof. It isn’t  a “romantic” candlelit dinner on Valentine’s Day.  And, unless you learn this simple secret and get primed for romance soon, it won’t be your Spring Break get-away to the beach (or the mountains), either.

Protect Your Marriage: Eliminate These 4 Toxic Interactions

By Jamie C Williamson, PhD I’ve been working with couples who resolved to make one final effort to restore the happiness in their marriage. They sincerely want to try, but also don’t want to prolong the pain or keep rehashing the same tired arguments. So, they begin by asking “How do we know if it

Follow the 5-Step Path to “Just Be Grateful”

By Jamie C. Williamson, PhD Happy people have figured out that it is not happiness that makes you grateful, it is gratefulness that makes you happy. So, the trick to having a Happy Thanksgiving is simple: “Just Be Grateful” and, like this cornucopia, your holiday will be overstuffed with joyful thanks and generous giving. Easier

It’s time! 5 Steps to Finally Letting it Go

By Jamie C. Williamson, PhD Fall is the time when trees remind us how important – and beautiful—it can be to let things go. Trees let go of their leaves to save energy and protect themselves from damaging conditions. As the days grow shorter, trees sense the natural loss of light. In fact, trees can

4 Habits To Keep Your Marriage Golden Even When You’re Gray

by Jamie C. Williamson, PhD So, you’ve been thinking that if you made it through the seven-year-itch, a mid-life crisis (or two), and your kids’ teenage years, you’d be golden, right? Probably…. but maybe not. Although the divorce rate is declining for couples under 40, the divorce rate is on the rise for older adults.

Want a Future? Choose Forgiveness, Not Fighting

By Jamie C. Williamson, PhD My friend Mike confided to me yesterday that he and his wife of over 20 years are getting a divorce.   Although the split was her idea, he was quick to choose to forgive her and focus on building a stable future for himself, his wife, and their children.  He told me

Four Warning Signs on the Road to Divorce

by Jamie C. Williamson, PhD There are four signs that signal a progressive, downward relationship spiral leading to divorce.   But, you can learn to recognize these cautionary signals and take a detour that will put you back on the path to a long, satisfying marriage. Which couple are you? This week I met two young

The Truth About Lies: Motives Matter

By Jamie C. Williamson, PhD Is it ever ok to lie?  Not all lies are unexpected.  Not all lies are unethical.  Not all lies hurt others.  In fact, sometimes lying is the right thing to do. Sometimes.  But, not usually.  Especially in a close personal relationship grounded in trust, like marriage. Lying is only one

Want a Long, Happy Marriage? Be Loving AND Stubborn

by Jamie C. Williamson, PhD You might be surprised to learn that stubbornness in marriage is a good thing. Some spouses try to create a happy marriage through grand romantic gestures like sending flowers, planning romantic dinners, champagne at sunset, or wearing sexy lingerie. Special plans like these do go a long way toward creating

Resolving to Be Happy Might Require Courage to Divorce

by Jamie C. Williamson, PhD Many people started out the New Year thinking about getting a divorce, even if they didn’t realize it at first. People rarely include “get a divorce” on their list of resolutions. Instead, divorce becomes the unhappy (but necessary) by-product of resolutions like “This is the year I’m going to have

Beware the Calm Before the Stormy 7 Stages of Divorce

by Jamie C. Williamson, PhD Divorcing couples do move through predictable and understandable stages of divorce, each associated with different practical concerns, emotions, and typical behavior patterns. But, divorce initiation often begins with a seemingly calm, barely detectable phase.   You have to pay close attention or it will catch you by surprise. Most explanations

Effective Apologies Turn Conflict Aftermath into Healing Afterglow

By Jamie C. Williamson, PhD I’ve said it a thousand times, but people still don’t believe me.      Conflict can actually be good for your relationship. Conflict can lead to greater understanding. Conflict can clarify similarities, differences, and preferences. Conflict can help couples learn how to deal with future conflict. And, perhaps most importantly, conflict can

Avoid Tragic Ending: Start With a Negotiated Farewell and Divorce Mediation

by Jamie Williamson, PhD You know how happily married couples love to share the story of how they met, complete with teasing about fun little details?  These are usually well-rehearsed tales, in which both spouses end up being heroes of their own, happily-ever-after love story. Well, divorcing couples also want to share the story of

Improve Communication in Your Marriage Before it’s too Late

by Jamie C. Williamson, PhD Wondering how to improve communication in your marriage?  Frequent problems don’t ruin a marriage.  But, ineffective communication can.  So, you might need to improve communication in your marriage before it’s too late. If it seems that all you and your spouse do is fight about money, the kids, sex, and

4 Ways to Get Divorced. Is Pre-suit Pro Se Right for You?

by Jamie C. Williamson, PhD If you have decided that getting a divorce is the best (and maybe only) option that will promote your future emotional and psychological well-being, and that of your spouse and children, your next step is to determine which of the four paths to a legal divorce is right for you and

Great Dad, Inattentive Husband? How to Initiate the “Fix”

by Jamie C. Williamson, PhD Around Father’s Day traditional and new media produce pithy articles about the characteristics of great fathers.  These lists typically include valuable advice like: spend time with your children, discipline with love, be a role model for good behavior, teach your kids to appreciate what they have (don’t be an ATM),

Co-parenting in the Best Interest of the Children

by Jamie C.  Williamson, PhD Sometimes divorced parents must sacrifice their own desires to act in “the best interest of the children”.  Here’s an example.  My neighbor is a divorced Mother in an exemplary co-parenting relationship with the Father of her children.  This is his week to be with their kids.  He’ll have them all

Three Building Blocks that Strengthen a Shaking Foundation of Trust

By Jamie C. Williamson, PhD Like most actions in a close, intimate relationship, trust follows the “norm of reciprocity”.  You will trust your partner, if you sense that your partner trusts you, and visa versa. What this means is that, if you act overly jealous or suspicious, you will not likely end up in the place