by Jamie C. Williamson, PhD Many people started out the New Year thinking about getting a divorce, even if they didn’t realize it at first. People rarely include “get a divorce” on their list of resolutions. Instead, divorce becomes the unhappy (but necessary) by-product of resolutions like “This is the year I’m going to have
Relationship Blog
Beware the Calm Before the Stormy 7 Stages of Divorce
by Jamie C. Williamson, PhD Divorcing couples do move through predictable and understandable stages of divorce, each associated with different practical concerns, emotions, and typical behavior patterns. But, divorce initiation often begins with a seemingly calm, barely detectable phase. You have to pay close attention or it will catch you by surprise. Most explanations
Effective Apologies Turn Conflict Aftermath into Healing Afterglow
By Jamie C. Williamson, PhD I’ve said it a thousand times, but people still don’t believe me. Conflict can actually be good for your relationship. Conflict can lead to greater understanding. Conflict can clarify similarities, differences, and preferences. Conflict can help couples learn how to deal with future conflict. And, perhaps most importantly, conflict can
Avoid Tragic Ending: Start With a Negotiated Farewell and Divorce Mediation
by Jamie Williamson, PhD You know how happily married couples love to share the story of how they met, complete with teasing about fun little details? These are usually well-rehearsed tales, in which both spouses end up being heroes of their own, happily-ever-after love story. Well, divorcing couples also want to share the story of
Improve Communication in Your Marriage Before it’s too Late
by Jamie C. Williamson, PhD Wondering how to improve communication in your marriage? Frequent problems don’t ruin a marriage. But, ineffective communication can. So, you might need to improve communication in your marriage before it’s too late. If it seems that all you and your spouse do is fight about money, the kids, sex, and
4 Ways to Get Divorced. Is Pre-suit Pro Se Right for You?
by Jamie C. Williamson, PhD If you have decided that getting a divorce is the best (and maybe only) option that will promote your future emotional and psychological well-being, and that of your spouse and children, your next step is to determine which of the four paths to a legal divorce is right for you and
Great Dad, Inattentive Husband? How to Initiate the “Fix”
by Jamie C. Williamson, PhD Around Father’s Day traditional and new media produce pithy articles about the characteristics of great fathers. These lists typically include valuable advice like: spend time with your children, discipline with love, be a role model for good behavior, teach your kids to appreciate what they have (don’t be an ATM),
Best Moms (and Dads) act “in the best interest of their children”
by Jamie C. Williamson, PhD Here’s a special “shout out” to my neighbor, who is such a great dad. This is his weekend to be with his kids. He’ll have them Friday night and Saturday until 6 p.m., when he will take them to their mom’s house so they can wake up with her on
Three Building Blocks that Strengthen a Shaking Foundation of Trust
By Jamie C. Williamson, PhD Like most actions in a close, intimate relationship, trust follows the “norm of reciprocity”. You will trust your partner, if you sense that your partner trusts you, and visa versa. What this means is that, if you act overly jealous or suspicious, you will not likely end up in the place
Should I Stay or Should I Go? Part 3 – How Unhappy Do I Have to Be to Justify Divorce?
By Jamie C. Williamson, PhD One of the main reasons people in contemporary western culture get stuck in what I call the Contemplative Phase of divorce is that the purpose of marriage itself has evolved over the last few decades, leaving people confused about what they value most from what should be the most valuable
Should I Stay or Should I Go? Part 2 – Determine Your Marriage’s Love Style
By Jamie C. Williamson, PhD Marriages have Love Styles. Some lead to fulfilling happy marriages. Some lead to distress and divorce. To understand these Marriage Love Styles, you have to first understand that love is an action word, not an emotion. You and your spouse create patterns of action and inaction that constitute the character
Should I Stay or Should I Go? Part 1 – Using a Love Triangle to Assess Your Relationship
By Jamie C. Williamson, PhD The most frequently asked question for me these days is “How do I know whether I should get divorced, or keep trying?” Sadly, many married people remain in this ambivalent “Should I Stay or Should I go” state for years. During this time — which I call the Contemplative Phase
The Most Important F-Word in Marriage May Surprise You
By Jamie C. Williamson, PhD The most commonly thought of F-word is not the one that most often causes marriages to decay. Despite what magazine articles and sensational internet posts might claim, happily married couples do NOT typically have sex every day or even every week. After the newness wears off, most happy couples get