Articles with the Tag Jamie C. Williamson

How to Stop Cheating Before it Starts

By Jamie C. Williamson, PhD You may have heard the adage “Cheating is a symptom of relationship problems, not the cause of it”.   With notable exceptions for certain pathologies, this statement is generally accurate. So, the time to protect your relationship from an affair is long before your partner feels the need to seek attention

Stay Happily Married by Following the “Magic Six Hours” Formula

By Jamie C. Williamson, PhD Six hours a week is all it takes to stay happily married.  If you follow this Magic Six-Hour formula, you can keep your marriage running smoothly and prevent a gradual growing apart or a dreaded relationship breakdown. Relationship expert John Gottman and his colleagues have determined that for relationships to

When Your Partner Makes Mistakes, Your Attributions Make a Big Difference

By Jamie C. Williamson, PhD People in long-term relationships make mistakes. The impact your partner’s mistakes have on your relationship depends largely on how you make sense of why they behave as they did.  We call this an “attribution” of cause. And, what you see as the cause when your partner makes mistakes depends mostly

Secrets to Staying Happy ’til Your Silver Anniversary and Beyond

By Jamie C. Williamson, PhDCheers!  This month my husband Larry and I celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary.  Ours is a second marriage for both of us.  And, even though the 25th is traditionally considered the silver anniversary, we feel “golden” pretty much every day. Younger couples often tell us that they want to know our

How to Date Your Spouse: 6 Tips for Successful Date Nights

By Jamie C. Williamson, PhD Most couples know they are supposed to have a regular “Date Night”. Unfortunately, along the way, they let familiar routines and their life partner/parenting roles overshadow their ongoing need for novel activities and their role as romantic partners.  They just can’t seem to have a night out that doesn’t involve

Money Can’t Buy Love, But the Right Gift Can

by Jamie C. Williamson, PhD     ‘tis the season.  But how do you know the right gift to give your partner?  Most gift givers assume that a more expensive present will be more appreciated, yet, receivers don’t appreciate expensive gifts more than other less expensive gifts.  And, that goes for gifts of clothes, wine, home

4 Easy Steps to Coping with Perpetual Marital Conflict

By Jamie C. Williamson, PhD Most marital conflict is unsolvable.  In fact, according to renowned relationship researcher John Gottman, 69% of marital conflicts are perpetual problems that couples will never resolve. Only 31% of the problems in marriage are solvable. This is true for both happy couples and unhappy couples. So, it is not the

This 1 Simple Act Primes Your Marriage for Romance

By Jamie C. Williamson, PhD The secret to long-lasting romance in marriage is simple, inexpensive, and fool proof. You’ve probably figured out that it isn’t a candlelit dinner on your anniversary or the obligatory sex that followed.  And, unless you learn this one simple secret it won’t be your long-anticipated romantic get-away either. Events designed

3 Reasons Couples Who Play Together, Stay Together

by Jamie C.  Williamson, PhD Married couples who play together, stay together.   But that doesn’t mean you should treat your marriage like a game.  If you treat your marriage like a game, you’ll get played and lose every time. What this does mean is that couples who “play together” by engaging in fun, novel

Follow the 5-Step Path to “Just Be Grateful”

By Jamie C. Williamson, PhD Happy people have figured out that it is not happiness that makes you grateful, it is gratefulness that makes you happy. So, the trick to having a Happy Thanksgiving is simple: “Just Be Grateful” and, like this cornucopia, your holiday will be overstuffed with joyful thanks and generous giving. Easier

It’s time! 5 Steps to Finally Letting it Go

By Jamie C. Williamson, PhD Fall is the time when trees remind us how important – and beautiful—it can be to let things go. Trees let go of their leaves to save energy and protect themselves from damaging conditions. As the days grow shorter, trees sense the natural loss of light. In fact, trees can

4 Habits To Keep Your Marriage Golden Even When You’re Gray

by Jamie C. Williamson, PhD So, you’ve been thinking that if you made it through the seven-year-itch, a mid-life crisis (or two), and your kids’ teenage years, you’d be golden, right? Probably…. but maybe not. Although the divorce rate is declining for couples under 40, the divorce rate is on the rise for older adults.

Want a Future? Choose Forgiveness, Not Fighting

By Jamie C. Williamson, PhD My friend Mike confided to me yesterday that he and his wife of over 20 years are getting a divorce.   Although the split was her idea, he was quick to choose to forgive her and focus on building a stable future for himself, his wife, and their children.  He told me

Four Warning Signs on the Road to Divorce

by Jamie C. Williamson, PhD There are four signs that signal a progressive, downward relationship spiral leading to divorce.   But, you can learn to recognize these cautionary signals and take a detour that will put you back on the path to a long, satisfying marriage. Which couple are you? This week I met two young

Want a Long, Happy Marriage? Be Loving AND Stubborn

by Jamie C. Williamson, PhD You might be surprised to learn that stubbornness in marriage is a good thing. Some spouses try to create a happy marriage through grand romantic gestures like sending flowers, planning romantic dinners, champagne at sunset, or wearing sexy lingerie. Special plans like these do go a long way toward creating

Resolving to Be Happy Might Require Courage to Divorce

by Jamie C. Williamson, PhD Many people started out the New Year thinking about getting a divorce, even if they didn’t realize it at first. People rarely include “get a divorce” on their list of resolutions. Instead, divorce becomes the unhappy (but necessary) by-product of resolutions like “This is the year I’m going to have

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