Articles with the Tag Jamie Williamson Phd

Want to Be Right? Or Happily Married on the “Home Team”?

By Jamie C. Williamson, PhD You can be “right”, or you can stay happily married. That doesn’t mean you must be a doormat if you want to stay happily married.  Instead, you can accept that there is no objective reality in a relationship.  There are two subjective realities – in your reality, you’re right and

Money Can’t Buy Love, But the Right Gift Can

by Jamie C. Williamson, PhD     ‘tis the season.  But how do you know the right gift to give your partner?  Most gift givers assume that a more expensive present will be more appreciated, yet, receivers don’t appreciate expensive gifts more than other less expensive gifts.  And, that goes for gifts of clothes, wine, home

3 Reasons Couples Who Play Together, Stay Together

by Jamie C.  Williamson, PhD Married couples who play together, stay together.   But that doesn’t mean you should treat your marriage like a game.  If you treat your marriage like a game, you’ll get played and lose every time. What this does mean is that couples who “play together” by engaging in fun, novel

Want a Future? Choose Forgiveness, Not Fighting

By Jamie C. Williamson, PhD My friend Mike confided to me yesterday that he and his wife of over 20 years are getting a divorce.   Although the split was her idea, he was quick to choose to forgive her and focus on building a stable future for himself, his wife, and their children.  He told me

The Truth About Lies: Motives Matter

By Jamie C. Williamson, PhD Is it ever ok to lie?  Not all lies are unexpected.  Not all lies are unethical.  Not all lies hurt others.  In fact, sometimes lying is the right thing to do. Sometimes.  But, not usually.  Especially in a close personal relationship grounded in trust, like marriage. Lying is only one

Resolving to Be Happy Might Require Courage to Divorce

by Jamie C. Williamson, PhD Many people started out the New Year thinking about getting a divorce, even if they didn’t realize it at first. People rarely include “get a divorce” on their list of resolutions. Instead, divorce becomes the unhappy (but necessary) by-product of resolutions like “This is the year I’m going to have

Effective Apologies Turn Conflict Aftermath into Healing Afterglow

By Jamie C. Williamson, PhD I’ve said it a thousand times, but people still don’t believe me.      Conflict can actually be good for your relationship. Conflict can lead to greater understanding. Conflict can clarify similarities, differences, and preferences. Conflict can help couples learn how to deal with future conflict. And, perhaps most importantly, conflict can

Avoid Tragic Ending: Start With a Negotiated Farewell and Divorce Mediation

by Jamie Williamson, PhD You know how happily married couples love to share the story of how they met, complete with teasing about fun little details?  These are usually well-rehearsed tales, in which both spouses end up being heroes of their own, happily-ever-after love story. Well, divorcing couples also want to share the story of

Improve Communication in Your Marriage Before it’s too Late

by Jamie C. Williamson, PhD Wondering how to improve communication in your marriage?  Frequent problems don’t ruin a marriage.  But, ineffective communication can.  So, you might need to improve communication in your marriage before it’s too late. If it seems that all you and your spouse do is fight about money, the kids, sex, and

4 Ways to Get Divorced. Is Pre-suit Pro Se Right for You?

by Jamie C. Williamson, PhD If you have decided that getting a divorce is the best (and maybe only) option that will promote your future emotional and psychological well-being, and that of your spouse and children, your next step is to determine which of the four paths to a legal divorce is right for you and

Great Dad, Inattentive Husband? How to Initiate the “Fix”

by Jamie C. Williamson, PhD Around Father’s Day traditional and new media produce pithy articles about the characteristics of great fathers.  These lists typically include valuable advice like: spend time with your children, discipline with love, be a role model for good behavior, teach your kids to appreciate what they have (don’t be an ATM),

Co-parenting in the Best Interest of the Children

by Jamie C.  Williamson, PhD Sometimes divorced parents must sacrifice their own desires to act in “the best interest of the children”.  Here’s an example.  My neighbor is a divorced Mother in an exemplary co-parenting relationship with the Father of her children.  This is his week to be with their kids.  He’ll have them all

Three Building Blocks that Strengthen a Shaking Foundation of Trust

By Jamie C. Williamson, PhD Like most actions in a close, intimate relationship, trust follows the “norm of reciprocity”.  You will trust your partner, if you sense that your partner trusts you, and visa versa. What this means is that, if you act overly jealous or suspicious, you will not likely end up in the place

The Most Important F-Word in Marriage May Surprise You

By Jamie C. Williamson, PhD The most commonly thought of F-word is not the one that most often causes marriages to decay. Despite what magazine articles and sensational internet posts might claim, happily married couples do NOT typically have sex every day or even every week.  After the newness wears off, most happy couples get

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